Sunday, December 04, 2005
I have been wanting to make small wall hangings for my family members, little memorial thingies with pictures of Callum in pink with some words and things. I started to print the pictures on fabric yesterday and started rouching some ribbon and realised that I just can't do it. I can't keep looking at his picture!!!! It hurts too much. I thought this would be good to do, healing for me. Also bought scrapbooking things and can't get onto that either. I hope I will be able to do it later, maybe when it is not so raw.
I am in an RR with some close friends so I will look forward to working on those. Not like I don't have heaps of UFO's but I am best when doing something for others, don't seem to get things done when they are for me.
On a good note, I just recently bought Carole Samples Book on CQ and her set of templates. Looking forward to working with these. I read about them on Sharon's site, in a minute ago and loved the idea.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
1st July 1989 to 14th November 2005
My handsome baby, sweet 16.
My precious son was killed last week. He took my car out for a joyride and was killed instantly.
One of his friends started calling him "Pink" instead of Green our surname and it stuck with him. There were only 40 children left in school the afternoon of his funeral all the others were there including over 400 people. He was well liked. We as parents are finding out more about our son daily as people share with us who Callum was. He was a mischevious kid, he had that streak of naughtiness BUT he was so wonderful. He never hesitated to through his arms around his little Mum, he was over 6 feet where I am 5'2. He cuddled and kissed us frequently and we never tired of saying how much we love each other. All the kids and lots of the adults wore pink ribbons around their wrists in their hair around their necks, tied to shoes, hanging out of pockets, it was so heartwarming to us. There is so much I want to say and I know it is for me only that I write but it is part of the healing process.
Our hearts are broken and they won't ever be the same again, for me my husband David and our other two boys Andrew 20 and Cameron 18. But we have that deep assurance that strange peace in our hearts because he was a christian as we are and we know he is in Heaven. I could not go on otherwise, the pain would tear me apart.
He was a charming beautiful young man, I loved just looking at his face as I did constantly with him and his brothers, just soaking them in, loving them, knowing them, holding them close. He did get annoyed with me and let me know as only a child can. One of the last times I was gazing at his face and looking at his emerging whiskers he let me know just how fed up he did get with me. But that is OK, I would get annoyed with him at times too.
We still have family with us and will till the end of this week, then we will be on our own and the lonliness of his loss will hit even more. It is going tobe very hard. Cameron our 18 year old is leaving to go to Universiry early next year and we will be completely on our own as our oldest son Andrew is already flatting and he hopes to return to Melbourne Australia early in the new year. We will have big adjusting to do. My preious son, I love you so much and misss you so much and I am so angry at you for taking my car but my Dearest one I love you and treasure you so much in my heart, Your ever loving Mum
Monday, November 07, 2005
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Progress on Cafe Au Lace, just doing a little here and there. I am enjoying stitching on this block. A comment I recieved from a friend upon viewing some Cq was "it is so feminine" I guess that is partly why I love it so.
I equate femininity with grace beauty, olde worlde things like lace, ribbons, flowers things that tend not to be fashionable. I know flowers are never out of fashion but I think you get the gist. As I get older I realise how much I love pretty things, just an old fashioned gal....
Birthday Present for my sister.
this is a small bag that I have made for my sister. It is my first try and there are several design flaws. It won't stand up to much wear but I think she will like it.
I went to a chalk pastels class yesterday. While I enjoyed the class as it was hands on, I was dissatisfied with my work. BUT it was a learning experience. It was a landscape with a wonderful tree in the foreground. My drawing seemed to be a series of just marks, if you can understand me, they are marks instead of shading or a cohesive whole. It is interesting as my husband mentioned something to me about a small cq pendant I was making, that it had no depth. I will post a picture later. At the same time I am enjoying Sharon"s blog on cq and believe that I will get it together.
So what am I trying to say. ..... I am encouraged, it seems the way I learn is to make mistakes. So I am taking heart at my learning....
Sunday, October 30, 2005
It is spring in New Zealand and I have been busy in the garden after work this past week. Living on the central plataeu we do tend to get a lot of rain so it was important to get somethings done while I had the chance. Found a great place on the net to buy annual seedling in bulk.The only thing with buying in bulk is the actual planting of them. It is all done now, at least for the time being, so I have been able to get some stitching done. This is what I haqve done so far on the cafe au lace block.
Great to recieve some comments too, thanks you.
This is an RR I have just worked on. Kathleen the block owner has used hankies of white with mainly blue and yellow edgings. It is going to be quite unique. There is a freshness, a crispness with this combination and I am looking forward to seeing the progress on this and what she will do with it once complete.
Monday, October 24, 2005
CAFE AU LACE
For a while I have wanted to make a small quilt/wallhanging in coffees, creams, golds and browns. With lots of lace. Thinking along the lines of arsenic and old lace for a title, obviously the arsenic bit it no good. So I aksed my DH last night for a name and Cafe Au Lace just rolled off his tongue. without much thought either!!!!. I love it. Made the first block yesterday, the brown is very dark and dominates and overpowers this block. Could just be the way I have pieced it which isn't great but I have decided to go with it. Tend to be one of those people that if its not right the first time then i tend to chuck it away and never get it done. BUT, it is time to change. There are supposedly no rules in CQ and I want to learn to go with the flow and not get so hung up on it being right/perfect! What is perfect anyway? I am sure I don't know.
An other thing I have learned recently is that I never allow myself to play. Mistakes reinforce all sorts of negative things in my life. Being 51 it is time for change. I am now allowing myself to play (just a little) and make mistakes. No lets say this properly, just allow myself to play, hang the outcome!! That is why I have decided to leave this block the way it is.
An other thing I discoved last night is that a blank canvas/ block stumps me! Looks to me like I look for any excuse to stop myself from doing anything.
So as I said before, time for change. This is some of my reasoning for starting a blog. Expressing myself with words is something I find difficult. Infact there are a lot of things I find difficult and I want to change.
I am looking to this blog to help/enable me to see where I want to change and to get on with the process. Karen South's blog is encouraging to me. She is using it to help her keep on track. Loved the posts about getting her studio organised and keeping it that way. Anyway she got me to thinking about blogs and here we are. So this is really going to be me rambling, learning and changing. I would love any of you to ramble, change etc with me.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
CQ came next with RR's swaps gift giving etc. Then I discovered internet shopping!! We live in a rural area in New Zealand, with no shops to speak off and certainly no craft or fabric shops. A love affair developed rather rapidly.
Now I belong to several groups and have made many friends and learnt soooooo much.
Blogging seems the next natural step for me